Friday, October 28, 2011

Who Is This Brave?

When I was a new mother a friend asked me to babysit her children for a few hours. It was so overwhelming. I couldn't watch their kids and my kids together. That is why I have to tell you who has been so brave to me.

My dear friend Yazmin offered to come over and watch my children with her little newborn baby Ben. Can you imagine a new mom, 4 babies and 2 bouncing little girls? I was gone for a few hours. When I came home she was in the front room with Hazel and CC, Quinn and James, I think Wilson and Baby Ben were asleep. She did an awesome job. It was one of the most noble gestures I have ever received.
Geez, who is that brave?

Drs Visit

Hazel, Quinn, James and Wilson had Drs visits today. We took the limo, it turns out you can park diagonal/lengthwise into 3 spaces, I could only do it in 5 but that is N8 for you. As CC would offer, "Dad is a good parker."
Here are the stats that Grandmas love:
Hazel 36 lbs- it puts her in the 50% for kids her age, height 40.5 in (55%)
Quinn 19.1 lbs (80%) height 28.25 (95%)  CC was off the charts as a baby too.
James 18.1 lbs (50%) height 28.5 (95%)
Wilson 17.5 lbs (25%) height 28 (75%)

I am so excited I have kept these babies alive and well fed. The triplets check up was a 7 month. Since they were premmies the Dr counts their skills and abilities as 4.5 month old babies. They are on track as far as development, Quinny leads the pack, she rolls the length of the floor, plays with toys and holds her own bottle, James enjoys push ups, he really isn't into toys but loves to do push ups on the floor during tummy time. I think he will crawl first.  Wilson is on track but way behind in rolling and playing with toys. N8 and I often wish we could give him a serum that would keep him a baby forever, he is so pleasant. His claim to fame is he is my best solid food eater. He is pure bliss to feed, especially after trying to feed Quinn who won't open her mouth for nothin'.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

These Are My Aims

I had several years before we had children to think of what kind of mother I would be. And years to think of how I didn't want to be. I thought, for all my waiting, I would be most patient and forbearing of women but I am not. I am just a good mother that does her best everyday and apologies when she does wrong.  Children can be very difficult and exhausting. So to not lose my way, I work toward these aims.

My desire is to raise confident, well rounded, Christ centered children. If my children can handle this being foisted upon them, I feel like they can weather anything life throws at them.

I think we've got the confidence in part

They will have confidence to stand up for the right, treat all people kindly, ask questions (something I was really afraid of!) and develop new skills.
Well rounded enough to be diverse, educated and slightly cultured with a splash of athleticism, (that is a tall order but at least they have to try).
A Christ centered person can overcome and forgive the bitter struggles that happen as part of life. They can look to greater things and live knowing there is more than this life, they can live with God again.

To this end I try to manage our family so that my children can develop these values, abilities, characteristics, whatever you call them. I ask myself, have I given the girls chores that make them feel proud and accomplished? Have I shown them confidence and encouraged them in our activities? Do they feel comfortable asking questions? Do they know that what they do matters to me? Do I value them as creative, playful and helpful little people? Did I squish their initiative at all today or guide it?
Well rounded: Did they learn anything new today? Did we talk about the world and explore anything? What have they learned of music, painting, writing, history, body movement and sports?
Christ centered: How did I show my belief in Christ through my actions today? Did we pray? Did we talk about sharing, forgiving and gratitude? Did we read the scriptures? I know these children come from God. He imprinted in them such kindnesses and acts of generosity, I know they didn't learn it from myself or N8. They can be super rascals too, but sometimes I am simply in awe of these fine people around me.

Sometimes I really believe there is a rainbow smiling over our house. Not a moon or the sun, a rainbow. (Maybe it is just the new paint job.) In Bible times, the rainbow was Gods sign that He wouldn't flood the earth again, to me is represents forgiving. I wonder if I can apply that symbolism here. The rainbow is over our house because as a family we are learning how to get along and forgiving each other. The rainbow teaches me that even when we make mistakes our home can be a clean place of love and safety.

Gotta go, laundry is calling. Give me this mountain. (Joshua 14:12) Maybe I should do a post about how much I admire Caleb for his words and how often they have inspired me.

Monday, October 24, 2011


Well, babies must be more resilient than I think because Wilson was doing tummy time in the front room. I walked in and Hazel was jumping on his bum, he didn't mind it at all.


Our family has a hero. Jessica. Momma Jessica. She is Hazels birth mother and she came for a visit last week. I love her so much I asked if I could write about her. Jessica started writing us a few weeks after we lost baby Sam. I couldn't believe that she was really going to pick us. She asked us to come and visit her in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We drove to visit her, end of September. We met her and her mother Karine at the church. She was delightful. We took her and her sister Anna out to breakfast the next morning. I showed her some of the outfits I had bought for the baby girl. She especially loved a green one with butterflies.

When Jessica was in labor, Karine called us and told us to drive to Wyoming and that our baby was on the way. Sunday morning we drove to Jackson Hole not daring to believe this time it was for real. We kept all the tags on the baby girl clothes just in case. We didn't tell anyone. We called Monday morning to our places of employment and requested vacation time and maternity leave.

We walked into the hospital room where Jessica had Hazel on the bed. Jessica looked up. Nathans favorite memory is that Hazel actually looked up too. I loved her right away. My favorite feature that I loved was her nose. Then her chin. I loved all of her. The hospital gave us a room to sleep in and let us sleep with her. This was such a special time in our lives. When we had Hazel with us, we tried to give Jessica any time she wanted with Hazel before the papers were signed. At first we were going to call her Quinn. But Nathan felt she was a Hazel. We named her Hazel Dawn. Dawn is after Jessica, her middle name. And the beginning of a new day.

The Drs and nurses followed us around all day. I think they couldn't believe they were seeing something so special. Call it what you will but there is a special spirit to adoption, it is as though God approves and he is sharing that special feeling with everyone that comes in contact with it.
Jessicas friend Stormy was married and we took Haz to the reception to show her to her birth family. In the white jacket is Karine Jessica mom, Anna is to her right and various family members in back

Hazel maybe 8 months old and Momma Jess
We signed all the paperwork at the hospital in their empty little chapel on Tuesday morning, Jessica had 24hours to change her mind. I remember lots of hugs and crying during the signing. I couldn't believe Jessica or her mother Karine could be so brave. I can't even honor them enough for this.We took pictures but the pictures are lost due to a computer crash.

After the adoption, we were mandated to stay in the state until all the paperwork was approved and we could transport Hazel over state lines. We stayed in Afton, Wyoming birthplace to the famous Rulon Gardner, N8 kept telling me. My brother in law had an aunt with an empty apartment. We slept on the air mattress, Hazel in a laundry basket. The weather should have been cold for the end of October in Wyoming but it was an Indian summer and Hazel and I walked and walked, that was when I discovered wearing my baby by means of wrapping fabric strategically around both of our bodies. N8 had some work stuff so he was back and forth to Provo. I remember, walking to the grocery store, walking around the neighborhood, raking their leaves as an odd thank you for letting us stay there, eating at a Mexican Restaurant, but most of all I remember just holding Hazel and staring at her and wrapping her, unwrapping her and holding her. I was so glad to have had that blissful time alone with her. I couldn't believe I had a baby. It was about 3 days we were there before the paperwork was signed and we could come home. Jessica knew we were expecting CC and agreed to place with us anyway. We found out several weeks later that CC was a girl. I think Jess was just as excited as we were that CC was a girl, a playmate.

We were on the adoption list for about 2 years and we continued with infertility treatments as well. We lived off of N8s income. We saved mine and used it to pay for adoption and a few rounds of in vitro. When Jess picked us, a few days later we found out we had a legitimate pregnancy too. It almost broke my heart to tell Jess we were expecting. I thought she would find another mother. It was the biggest moment of honestly in my life. We told her we found out we were expecting and if she wanted she could look for another family, but we would still love to raise her daughter. She asked some hard questions, we replied, I remember telling her I wasn't supermom but I was going to do my very best, she thought about it for a few days and then said she would still go through with it. That was one of my best days ever.
I can't do Jessica justice, she means so much to us

Definitely Hazels nose

Hazel a few days old

Jessica is gonna kill me for posting this one. This is Jessica and her sister Anna at the breakfast. Jessica is 8 months along at this point and she is hardly showing.

Oh man, that is a sweet baby girl
I know Hazel has such a rich family history through her birth mothers family. I hope someday she will be able to learn more about them.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

To Name a Child

N8 and I agonized over our children's names like crazy. Try naming three at the same time. Sometimes, it's not our very favorite name, but it is one we can both agree on. I have grown to love my children's names. They grow into them.

Hazel Dawn- I served in a church calling with a girl named Hazel. She was Hispanic and she had the ability to make friends with everyone. She moved easily among the Caucasian kids and the Hispanic kids, uplifting and unifying. Dawn, Hazel shares her birth mothers middle name.

Claire Christine- I wanted Lauren, N8 wanted Claire. I did know a Claire and was willing to settle for it as long as we could use the french spelling. Clare, Clair, Klaire, Klare, Klair, Clarre, Klarre, Chlarre, Chlaire, Claire. Claire Averett was the HR VP for Nu Skin when I worked there. It was during the time of tough layoffs. She was respected and admired. She had something special about her and she was someone who took care of people. Christine is my middle name.

Quinn Rebecca- Gwen? Too guttural. Brynn? Too breezy. I loved the double N sounding names but I didn't like my options. So I took a boy name. Rebecca, I have had many friends uplift and inspire me, two of them are named Rebecca.

James Gordon- Not being huge into Batman, we didn't realize we named him after the Commissioner. James was a family name we were throwing around while Jimmer Fredette was a BYU Basketball star. One night, as N8 was leaving for a game I said, "hey, if Jimmer scores more than 50pts, let's name a son after him. I never expected him to score like 53 that game. Gordon is my maiden name.

Wilson August- I loved the name Wilson. It is Nathan's middle name and a last name that runs in his family. August, N8 has wanted to name a son August forever. He also wants to name our next child Alvin. Good thing we are done having kids.


I lost all credibility and trust with the girls on Saturday. We walked with James and Quinn to 7-eleven. The girls only have eyes for slurpees, the redbox and balloons. I doubt they even know that facility really sells gasoline or more importantly nachos. Whenever we go there, its a banana/cherry mixed slurpee and "Mom, do they have balloons today? And can we get a show?" I always make them ask for their own balloons, as they usually give free balloons to kids. (Did you know?)
So we are walking out of there and CC has hers tied to her arm and Hazel asked me to tie hers to the stroller. I thought I tied it securely. About a minute passed and the red balloon just floated up to the sky. Hazel and CC just stared. Then they both started crying. CC because she is compassionate and Hazel because she just lost all the happiness in the world. It was too much for me, their sad, pathetic faces looking up at the sky to a balloon that will never come back, I just started to laugh. Nothing is more sad than little girls crying for their errant balloons. 7-eleven replaced the balloon but NO ONE would let me near their balloon not even to hold even for a second. I was the enemy. In fact at one point CC was holding so many things in her hands, rocks, sticks, slurpee, balloon, I offered to hold it and nope she would rather drop her slurpee than let her precious balloon fall into villainous hands.
I was trying to tidy up the girls room tonight and accidentally popped Hazels balloon. I hung my head in shame when she learned it. My name is Mud.

New Word

The perfect "respoon" opportunity
I remember being in High School, Capital High in Boise Idaho when the Chicago Bulls won their third straight championship. Pat Riley had invented a word to explain a third repeat victory, he patented it and sold it to the Bulls. He named their championship a Three-Peat. Meaning three time repeat winners. In my line of work, I have also come up with an important verb. It is To Respoon. The action you have to do with the spoon to catch the recently spooned food before it falls off of the participants chin onto the bib and re-feed it. For right now, I only use one spoon while I feed all three babies (for speed). In deference to the babies I am feeding, I try never to re- feed someone elses respoon. Just a nice little service I provide. It's the little touches that make ones mom special. You can thank me later kids.

Hazels 4th Birthday

Hazels birthday was wonderful, she had a pirate theme. Don't feel down if your babe wasn't invited, we only do family parties til they get into school.  I also never dress my kids up for Halloween until they are old enough to appreciate it. In this photo Grammy and Grumpy test out the limo, it is so fun to be able to all fit in one car!  We went to Costa Vida because I recently discovered they are gluten free! We did some creative parking again and didn't get a ticket, the food was good, and we enjoyed bowling. I love it when I can give Hazel and CC normal kid experiences even though they have triplet babies keeping them home. The best quote to come out of Hazels mouth was, I love you Grammy, almost as much as my pirate eye patch. (That is saying something.)

Our cheering section

Two serious bowlers, both of them beat me, so did CC. I have no excuse, I am usually somewhat athletic, I guess I just get shy around my in- laws

When did my girls grow so much? I don't remember time passing. CC looks like a giantess

Hazels treasure chest cake and birthday treasure map. I try to have the cake on the table when they wake up so they can yearn for it (and secretly pick at it) all day long. 

CC is ready to turn 4, it is tough to watch the other children wish it was their special day. But what goes around, comes around

Frog birthday shirts can smile, I love this girl so much. Happy birthday my girl. Once, a few weeks ago at a park CC -hand in mine, said, "Mom, you love your little princesses CC and Quinny right?" "Yes I do, what about Hazel?" "Oh she is not a princess, she is your little girl super hero." She really is, the first brave little baby to come to my home. She is my little girl super hero.

Unsmiling frog shirt (