Sunday, July 1, 2012

Being Married To Supermom

Some will despise this post, they'll tell me to go out and get some real problems...but read on.  I know I did it to myself. I got my feet kicked out under me, it was a total surprise and I reacted poorly. I thought I was such an independently happy little mother, turns out I was wrong about being independent.

I got home from girls camp last weekend. I was up in the mountain air, loving the girls and being with my leader friends but my heart was thinking of how Nathan was doing and hoping he wasn't having too tough of a time.

It turns out, maybe I should have stayed longer. Maybe I should have prayed for sick girls and teething babies. I was hoping for an, 'I'm so glad your home, I don't know how you do it!'

I got home late Friday night, house was clean. Laundry was kept up. Dishes done. Hmmm, maybe I should peek in on my babies. Babies clean, happy, sleeping peacefully, girls, same.
(I am surprised Nathan didn't greet me wearing an apron, with a bow in his hair!)

As our bathroom remodel drags out, so does the time between shaving.

The next morning, the girls looked at me in dismay. Why are you here? Dad and Grammy took us to the zoo, we went to the splash pad and played for hours. We ate at McDonald's and it was awesome. Why did you come home? Demoralizing.

I thundered around the house for a few days hurt, refusing love from anyone that could speak in sentences. I wasn't needed. Nate can do a better job than me with one hand tied behind his back. Maybe I should go back to work. Where's my old resume?

When he comes home from work, Nate gladly begins tidying toys and fluffing pillows. Nate helps with diapers and toilets, makes meals and reads stories. I am sure he is the reason we have multiples!! Actually Dr Andrews had something to do with it, but you know. Nathan helps carry my burden, but he usually runs with it, sometimes, I drag.

The man lives in a state of ready. Ready to read books, ready to play games, ready to cuddle. When Nate was a boy, he wanted to be a mother when he grew up. What a tribute to Pam, his momma.

He spent the week trying to woo me back to him, and the girls. Usually content with the joys of my life, I spent the week feeling sorry for myself and pushing everyone away. At one point, Hazel drew a picture of me and I had a sad face. I asked why it was sad and she said, 'Because you think we don't love you but we do.' 

I have the finest tunnel vision in town when it comes to my faults. Nathan is not perfect, he knows that. I am not trying to make anyone judge their spouse harshly. I just wanted to tell you how I struggle as a human, I want great cosmic powers, I need them now. I discount wisdom learned from 'time and experience', discernment and reliance on the Lord. Perfection doesn't come in 4 years of raising children, but over a lifetime.

Hazel cried to me the other day and the gist of her tears were because CC was so good and never got in trouble. 'Why did CC and dad get the gift to be good and you and I didn't?'

Ahhh. Here I am (humbly) being grouped in with the maturity of a 4 year old. 'You mean the gift to stay calm Haz, we all have the gift to be good. But yes, they have the gift to be calm."


  1. so totally been there!
    but just for the record, you rock, dearest, and i know plenty of people who think that of you. your whole family is the bees knees...
    but, then again, this opinion is coming from an inigma. and yes, that nickname is going with me to the grave.
    loved this post :)

  2. How cute, the gift to be good. And noting that mama didn't get it. At a RS activity recently we had a psychologist come talk to us and one of the things that came up is that we should remind our children that they are happy, and have a good childhood, and that they have a nice mama. I have been reminding Charlie recently that he has a nice mama, and he generally says something like, "well... yeah, I guess." Thanks little guy! ;-)

  3. I love you for your honesty, among other reasons.

    Hazel's got the gift of honesty too, also insight—and I hope she figures that one out and appreciates it in time. 'Because you think we don't love you but we do.' Oh, my heart.

    Bless you, Sherry. You are super enough never to have to compare yourself with other moms, or your own wonderful husband-mom.

  4. I remember I have left a couple times and I come back and Josh totally is totally on top of things! I always tell him that he would have been a great mom (and he seriously would have been)! We are so lucky we have guys who are great parents.

    I may not be able to always stay as calm as Josh during certain situations but I definitely add my own little special something to my mothering and I know you do too! It's hard to remember that or even see it sometimes. I think I have definitely shown my kids how to say sorry (I have had to tell them sorry many times) and that even adults make mistakes. Through my weaknesses they have hopefully learned that you love people even if they make poor choices!

    Your family is awesome. When Josh and I heard about you guys having triplets, we both couldn't think of a better couple to send all those kids too!

  5. I LOVE this blog post!!
    You are an absolute super mom. Every time I leave your house I am amazed at how you do it. Play with babies, play with girls, feed babies, cooking lessons with girls..
    you rock Sherry!

  6. So Sherry, I remember leaving for a few days a time or two, came home to the same thing....Perfection! Ug! It didn't take me long to realize that Richard was just trying to show me how easy he thought my job was. And it is....some of the time. But, when you are doing the same thing day in and day out, over and over again and add a little whining and sickness and trouble makers and mess makers. It can ware on a person, and sometimes you just need a break. That being said...Nathan is not really like his Dad in all of this. Richard would really rather be out earning a living, you know "To get the Chicken", than reading books and so on. Nathan really is Super Mom! So enjoy what you have there.

  7. You are supermom! You do an amazing job don't let anyone tell you different. I look up to you in so many ways! Hang in there! We ALL love you so much!

  8. Yeah, really. Get some real problems!! Just kidding. But you ARE amazing. I witness it every day. And what Hazel said nearly breaks my heart. Maybe because I feel the same way about myself. :)

  9. Found your blog from UVMOM. Love this post! I totally feel the same way. I tell my hubby all the time that he's better at being the mom than I am!