Sunday, June 10, 2012

A Burden Shared, A Friend Made

I am home from church sick today.  After nursing sick babies through fevers this week, I finally succumbed. So we are all home from church getting better and Nate is still nursing the babies, the girls are nursing me, I have never had so many tenderly balanced cups of cold water brought to me or enjoyed so many lotions rubs and tuck in's from tiny hands. Sweet girls.

I don't watch TV on the Sabbath but I am sorely tempted to, in my misery. I will write to occupy my time instead.

If you have ever come over to visit me, I have chairs in the kitchen and I work, while you sit, we talk and laugh, tell stories or gripe, I wipe noses and load dishes too. I'll allow myself the luxury of slowing down, in a few years maybe. I am not trying to make a martyer of myself or look better than I am, I am what I am a slightly crazy, busy mom.  Heavenly Father totally gives me the power to live like this. I asked for it and for the most part, I love it!

For a few months, we hired a BYU student to come and clean or babysit. While the shirts got ironed and healthy dinners were made on those days, I usually came out more frazzled for it. It has bothered me ever since and now I am questioning why. Our student was fine, she did what she was asked, and we were just a job to her. But there was no heart in it. Nearest I can tell, what I really wanted in hiring out was someone to help relieve the burden of being a parent for a while. It is a heavy load and although Nathan carries more than his share, there are still 10 hours a day unaccounted for while he is at work. Ten hours to entertain, be creative, teach, read, play, practice, exhort, make meals, tidy, do laundry and hair, give bathes and hugs, kiss babies and hurts- ten hours where everyones emotional well being depends on you. Tall order.

There have been few people that can come in and lighten that burden for me. My mom and my mother in law for example. Sometimes, just the mere act of a friend being in my home can help keep my spirits soaring, a song in my heart and energy rolling. One such friend was Hannah, she is on a mission right now and I miss her dearly, if she never picked up another one of my babies ever, I would still miss her for her friendship and sense of humor- total package deal, oh and her eye liner techniques- who doesn't keep a lighter in their makeup kit?

She never waited to be asked, she never thought I might get upset if... she just did. She saw something that needed to be done and did it.

If you need to be asked to pick up a crying baby, even if you are willing, it's more of a burden than that parent should have to carry.

Hannah grew up around the corner from us. Her big brother Ben used to come over and we were his 'refuge' til he got too old for us. Ben and Hannah both had an innate ability to relieve burdens maybe it is a cool mind reading trick their whole family has, I don't know. Several years ago, we were digging out our driveway, Ben walked by asked if he could help and called some of his friends over too. It was no skin off his back, big muscle ball that he was, to help out but he made friends for life that day.

Hannah came along when I was big pregnant with the triplets. As though we had been friends all our lives, she eased her way into my heart and helped carry my load. Little girls got their fingernails painted and taken to play at her house, she fed them peanut butter sandwiches. We laughed together (being worried how this triplet thing was all going to go down), I hadn't had a good laugh in a while. We would talk about our growing up years, how experiences had shaped our beliefs and whether she should keep dating so and so. She was there when I needed her. After the babies were born she would often take midnight and 2 am feeding shifts because she claimed, she was just coming home from a friends party and was awake anyway. She would bring her friends to help feed babies. When Hannah was there, her light heartedness made my burden feel lighter.

This is so Hannah, nacho cheese chips from the hospital cafeteria and Utah truffles chocolate, dressing like a boy for days then doing a 180 and knocking us all out with dangly earrings and high heels, huge smiles and hugs, Lucky Penny eyeshadow, spicy food, BBQ, late nights -taking a snooze on the couch, sneaking in while I am napping to pick up a baby that's awake, playing with the girls, baby Wilson riding on a pig, wondering about her future and what it had in store, 4th of July firework with Gary and the gang, long boarding with the gang, going to work crazy early hours, happy meals toys, Lisa stories, Lori stories, PB and family, Sweet Emily, Houston Texas, (yuck, Texas).

You are not forgotten Sweet Hannah. Thank you.