Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Mirror, Mirror on the wall who is the most drawn and haggard of them all?

Nathan and I had a special evening a few weeks ago. Our neighbor Jeff got 4 front row tickets from some of the big wigs at his work -to the Toronto Raptors vs. The Jazz at the ESA. At the last minute and amazingly, I found a few friends willing to look after the children for the night. Jeff once told me he would never take anyone to a Jazz game that didn't know the starting line up so I had stalwartly memorized it for just such an occasion. 

Included in the front row ticket was a dinner beforehand and during halftime, snack food. (I got a thing for nachos) We arrived at the ESA early for the Jazz 100 Club luxurious dinner. Lighting was low, mirrors dotted the walls all around us and delicate displays of food were laid out. It was amazing and most of it was gluten free so I could actually eat! There were shrimp cocktails, a seafood bar, roast beef, salmon, desserts, fruits, exotic cheeses, you name it. I was ready to stay up there and eat all night long but Jeff said we had to watch the game.

While I was mingling with guests and getting food, I looked around at all the patrons. They were the Jazz 100 Club members or knew someone that was. I looked at the women, some were wearing pearls and other were wearing jeans some were dressed like teenagers and some were distinguished. I wondered about what their lives were like, what sort of worries they had. I believe that what we live or how we live shows up in our eyes. I think that is how like, finds like. Sort of how birds of a feather find each other. I am not saying I can classify and label every person by a casual flip of the eyelid but sometimes you can get a feel for people.

I wonder if those people watched me as I watched them, what did they think of me? I tried to dress nice for the occasion. I felt fancy. But when I looked at myself in the mirror, I had a look on my eye, I looked haggard and tired as though I was running out of time or places to hid. It was as though I were hunted.

I was here to enjoy the game, taking a reprieve for the evening but come tomorrow morning, the hunt resumed again- with me as the prey, not keeping up, never enough, not on time, not getting it done fast enough or soon enough. This was my rest before I had to begin hiding from the hunter again. In the mirror, I didn't look rested and comfortable in my surroundings, I looked cagy and nervous. Yikes! Who is that lady staring back at me?

I know that they say that things get easier with the babies. Sometimes I feel I am churning with barely controlled nervous and energetic hysteria- you just can't keep that from the mirror. Will that pass too? Will I ever look at myself in the mirror at a public function to see myself as a distinguished and pleasant woman?

The evening progressed. It was lovely. Thanks to Jeff for shcmoozing with the big wigs and inviting us to a once in a lifetime.

Behind Bell, Amandas smiling face and the in the corner, my lovely mug- Look mom I was on TV!

Jeff and Nathan sing their hearts out to no avail, the Jazz up and quit on us

What a great evening

From the Writings of Jane Goodall

Saturday Feb 3rd 2012, it is sunny today, I am tired from a difficult night. 

Before he leaves for the forest, my partner lays a fine layer of Kix in the clearing of the jungle floor to occupy the baby gorillas til I wake. I soon wake and, putting on my slippers, take leave of my tent. I grab my notebook for further observations and head to the jungle clearing where the 3 baby gorillas are gathered. The baby gorillas are finishing their paltry offerings and are excited to see me. I bring bananas. I sit on the jungle floor with the natives crawling all around me, giving them banana offerings out of my hand. The smallest gorilla will feed from my hand. The older ones will only take with raking grasps or pincher fingers to put to lips.

It seems Jane and I have much in common

Soon the natives grow weary of the feeding game and come ever so close. One of the big ones, we named him James, even becomes so brazen as to crawl right on top of me in search of more banana, I smell his fetid, stinking pee from the night before, he is soaked through and needs to be hosed down---- he finds the peel and begins in on it. The other two see that the big one has found a chewy treat and begin their strategic assault. Legs over legs they pummel each other for the prize. In the end they all end up with a piece of banana peel to chew and are perfectly content, until I remove the offering. I am repulsed by their desire to chew a starchy, sour and flavorless peel. They are angry with me. The little one turns his back to me. I begin to change them and prepare them for the day. An even bigger gorilla (female-Hazel) comes to me, hunger in her eyes, they seem to say, where is breakfast? What did you make me? The big female distracts the angry little gorilla while I change the others and then turn my efforts to reclaiming the tiny gorillas lost love.

I take the gorillas into my lab, strapping them into small chairs with trays and begin preparing toast and jam in tiny unchokeable pieces. The babies are quick to consume the little jams and soon sticky faces and fingers glare at me. The older female gorillas take their food wearily as the jam is a new kind they have never tried, marmalade and are not sure if they like the looks of it. I decide it is time for the 3 little gorillas to try drinking from an open cup. I fill a cup with water and each has a turn sipping, gulping, spilling, choking. The littlest the youngest one is the best at it. He gets it right away. The older male is too eager and chokes. The small female is too happy and just smiles up at me. (Hard to drink while you are smiling up at someone.)

I unstrap the baby gorillas one at a time and bring them to the sink to wash hands and faces. Eager hands reach for a stream of water as I wash them at the sink, tiny tongues lap out as I bring water to face for the wash. I set each gorilla to ground and pull out the next one. They each chimp away, like wind up toys eager to see the world. (And eat any small leavings by the big female gorillas, pieces of tape, stickers, etc... Oh how will I keep these alive?)

Trays come off and are washed. Bibs set aside for next time, crumbs wiped off chairs.

Such is life in the jungle.

P.S. I read this to my sweet husband before I posted it. I didn't preface it, I just started reading  (I also hadn't added any of the gorillas names yet.) His eyes got big as saucers. "Honey! That is just like our life!!" I knew N8 was a little gullible but I think he reached a new and horridly exploitable level of vulnerability- if he thought this was real...by jove, IT'S ON. I love you Nathan.

While our heroine "Jane" bravely examines a baby gorilla for the emergence of teeth, the gorilla is intent on dentistry of his own

Family Update

Hazel is 4 and CC turns 4 on St Patrick's day.

Hazel and CC have joined a dance school. Ballet to be exact. I must remember to practice with them through the week. Poor Miss Amber. If I don't practice with the girls they will have forgotten it all by the next class and have to relearn it. When we pull up for dance in the limo, the other parents in their SUVs and vans stare me down, 'Is she for real?'. Totally.

Babies are 10 months

Quinn is ever the apple of Nathans eye. She is so lovely and delightful. If I finger swipe her once a day, I finger swipe her a thousand times. Let me tell you, there is true technique that goes into finger swiping a kid with seven little chompers. She is quite the vacuum, army crawling along- testing out carpet strands, dirt, bits of paper and strawberry shortcake toy shoes. Sometimes she gets lucky on a piece of dropped fruit or cookie, or a nice bit of salty cracker, she never stops trying. It is getting so bad that I no longer find it necessary to finger swipe for the following- paper, old food and wipes (she attacks the container), or carpet fibers as they come out... umm, whole. But I am a good mom, I still finger swipe for crayons even though they are non-toxic, oh and anything glass, plastic or metal.

James the toupee, loves the bathroom, we try to keep the door shut but sometimes forget as we are just learning to arm ourselves against the little crawlers. I found James behind the toilet the other day licking the plunger. (Why is it that moms want to divulge these gross details, maybe we are seeking acceptance, or help, please tell me your kid is just as gross.) At any rate he loves the bathroom. As soon as they are changed for the day, it is as though they look back to me and say, 'see ya mom, we are out of here' they hit the door and disappear for Baby Mecca (Hazel and CCs room).
They other day I saw James and Quinn pushing a ball, then crawling after it.  One would get it and fumble it, then they would both go for it!

Wilson took his first attempts at baby freedom today as he crawled in his room, but hasn't made it out the door yet. Do you know about how much anxiety I feel with 3 babies making off for parts unknown as soon as the day breaks? Wilson is delicious and sweet as candy. He is my lil' buddy, well they all are. Man, I feel so much joy with all these babies, I feel crazy happy more than ever in my life.

I usually try to keep track of babies and locations, but I sure wish I could get them to answer back when I call. James, where are you? Over here, behind the toilet mom! Quinny, where are you? In Hazel and CCs room eating shoes! Wilson, where are you? In my room, where you left me, where everyone leaves me! Sorry buddy, you just need to learn to crawl, I can't do it for you.

Shots

N8 is a sucker for cute girls, his girls.

As soon as I open the front door everyone is on the move, see you mom, we are gonna try our hand at scraping our noses and bumping down all the outside stairs!

Mommys little helper: I bought noise canceling earphones for when I am so frazzled and I can't catch a break. What did you say Hazel? I can't hear you

James the toupee

What? Are they fighting already? James crawled up on Wils chair to steal his toy and poke him in the eye. This is pre-eye poke.

Sunday Sallys

I couldn't resist the chance to dress the girls alike before they realize how totally uncool (and cute) it is... my mom did it to me, but she sewed our dresses. Unlike my mother and mother in law I do not have a special affection for the sewing machine. Although I can, I have to be pretty desperate before I resort to sewing machines, glue ( I know!), hand-stitching, iron on patches- yes, I am ridiculous.

Unabashed Teething

After living through James getting his big teeth this week (that makes four for him), and Quinn with her seven, I feel I have little hair left to pull, maybe I will start on my eyelashes.

By the time Wilson starts giving me the business about teething, I fear my response will be as compassionate as..."it's your problem not mine kid, you're going back to bed."

The Vacuum

Do you know the joy of watching a baby discover something new? Such was my joy today as I vacuumed in the triplets room.  All three of them were alert, curious and cautious as little animals. Wanting to get closer, yet concerned, I watched their little heads follow back and forth. I have many wonderful moments in a day, but I didn't want that moment to end. It was so sweet and full of innocence.