Words I Bite Back

Do these girls look like they could make some trouble? Look at their shirts, made by their aunt Tiffany. I assure you they are entirely apropos. (Spice and Sugar)

Hazel and CC have found themselves in a considerable amount of trouble since the triplets have been born. Not really, I understand the need for them to explore, and I have actually never told them not to do the following things. In my defense, I didn't think I needed to but that is splitting hairs. They have made a slip 'n slide kitchen with water from the fridge door on the nice wood floor and had a blast, it is amazing how much of a mess they can make in such a short amount of time. They have washed the walls and windows with yogurt. Washed their hair in Vaseline, took me days to get out. They have brought cups of sand from the sandbox onto the carpet to play, they have colored on walls and ripped rooms apart more than I can count.
I often hear myself saying the dumb things mothers say, you know, the things that make kids just zone out and totally ignore the next few lines you say. These ridiculous phrases are passed down through the generations, inspire no one to greatness, make no change what so ever and make no one feel happy. I will now recite the following conversation.
Me: Did you make a mess in here?
Hazel: Yup.
Me: Clean this up okay?
Hazel: Why?
Me: (Starting to lose my temper) Because! Do you wanna live in a pi-(stop myself and bite back the words)
Hazel: What?
Me: Nothing. Just get this cleaned up okay?
Hazel: What were you going to say?
Me: Nothing, just something dumb...

The truth is Hazel would probably think it was totally cool to live in a pig sty. Even though she has never seen one. It is a stupid thing to say and totally pointless.