Friday, December 9, 2011

Counter Negative Self Talk

I rejoice in this family and I love it. I am so pleased that we have as many children as we do. I know I need to be at my best everyday. It drives my friends and neighbors crazy that I choose to go to bed early every night instead of the hanging out and chatting that I would dearly love to do. I have to have enough sleep. I am learning so many new things about myself I feel like having a largish family with children so small is warp speed learning and growing, very introspective at times. I hope I don't miss my many lessons and opportunities to become better. Here is something else that I am learning about myself.

I am learning to counter negative self talk during stressful moments. I feel like that type of talk, even though I try not to act out on it takes some of the happy energy out of me. Negative self talk usually is the sarcastic things I say to myself during a crisis moment. They give me bad vibes and I don't like them. When I hear myself saying them I try to add an "up statement" at the end of my negativity (Don't Google it, I made that phrase up).

I am in the kitchen, making 2 bottles. One hand is shaking while the other is screwing the lid on (a talent I have developed). Two hungry babies need me and I'm feeling the pressure, my hair may or may not be standing on end at this point. CC walks into the kitchen oblivious to crying babies, "Mom, can you tie this onto Elmo so he can be a superhero?" (Shows me what once was a clean folded dishtowel)

My first reaction is in my head is --oh and don't judge too harshly, "Really? Can't you see I am busy? Are you kidding me? I have a thousand other thing to do and you want me to help with Elmo?!"

I say, "CC let me get the babies fed and I will help you." Silently, I resent that I can't help her right away and that I feel like I am always telling her no. It weighs on me.

So all that negative talk has just bogged me down and took away some of my happy. To counter it,  I add my "up phrase" in my head, "Man, I am so glad that CC has such a good imagination. I am so proud of her play." This brings my happy feeling back and makes me more willing and less resentful to disruption.

"Man, I am so thrilled when my girls ask me for a wipe, I can hardly stand it. I especially love it while I am eating." This one makes me so happy, it sends me into conniptions.

Sweet Quinn, as lovely as she is active
Wilson and Quinn share the same expressive eyebrows, nose and brown eyes, check it out. 

Quinn ready for bed and getting a whisker rub from dad
Who can sleep like this?

1 comment:

  1. Great strategy. I'm practicing something like that myself. Let's be Pollyannas together.

    I think your Hot Hipster Hula Hopping at the rec center must be another kind of up statement.